Haverfordwest Cricket Club

                         Dale Road, Haverfordwest, Pembrokeshire, SA61 1XP

                                                Tel: 01437 763615

Age 44, Financial advisor/Travelling salesman – After failed attempts to launch a ‘lookalike’ career as snooker player Tony Knowles, the ‘smooth-legged’ skipper was recently offered a place on the Channel Five show ‘I’m a Financial Adviser get me out of here’. Unfortunately he had to turn it down due to a nagging groin strain. Renowned for his lightening turn of pace when escorting the ball to the boundary.

Age 43, Local government employee/pensioner - Veteran of many Harrison-Allen finals but yet to hit the ball off the square in any of them. Once chose to leave a final by ambulance rather than pick up the trophy and make a speech. Watch out for his attempts to get his brother to ‘run the first one quickly’.

Age 33, DWP officer/male model – In good form this season until his bat exploded at Whitland earlier this month. Police are still investigating the incident but a certain burly team-mate is the chief suspect as he was known to be concerned about being outscored this season. The ‘Ian Poulter’ of the side, ‘Reggie’ is known for his unusual on-field dress sense, especially his bizarre ‘Morris Dancer’s’ hat. Will he have the bottle to wear it in the final?

Age 26, Apprentice electrician/Male gigolo – ‘Truck’ has had a point to prove this year as his proposed transfer to Gowerton at the start of the season, collapsed, when he failed a medical. Has an unfortunate knack of always finding himself in the right place at the wrong time in the field. Excellent slogger.

Age 22, Local Government employee/stuntman - ‘Harry’ has become a first team regular this year after giving up ‘quidditch’ to concentrate on his cricket. He is always the first to congratulate an opposing batsman on a particularly good shot. Watch out for his outrageous pad hammering routine should he be dismissed.

Age 30, Process operator/hairdresser - Will be as unobtrusive as ever behind the stumps as he struggles to overcome his natural shyness. ‘Scrivs’ has been working hard on his batting in an attempt to make the number 10 slot his own. Has the unfortunate knack of settling the opposition by conceding an early bye.

Age 19, butcher/after dinner speaker - A former child actor before turning to butchery, ‘Dapper’ has developed his own personal style of preparing for a game, usually involving women, alcohol and junk food. Known for his uncanny ability to predict the past, he is the thinker of the side.

Age 32, Motorparts salesman/Sumo wrestler - One time camel salesman, Tucker has been on a crash diet this year after his weight soared to four stone during the winter. Watch out for his ferocious LBW appeals.

Age 31, local government employee/boxer - Angel faced Johns is now a reformed character having shed the ‘bad-boy’ image which dogged his early career. Probably needs to be a little more opinionated on the pitch. Watch out for his deft use of the boot when he ‘can’t be asked’ to bend over and field the ball.

Age 23, Delivery man/fashion designer - In an attempt to improve his general fitness, ‘Wills’ has recently given up the booze, however this has led to the loss of his lucrative sponsorship deal with ‘Bulmers’. Fortunately he is currently in talks with BUPA who are keen to step in. Recently dubbed ‘Tino’ due to his uncanny resemblance to the enthusiastic West Indian speedster.

Age 38, Financial adviser/Philanthropist - Stephen made a generous donation towards the cost of the mushrooms for the team breakfast in the Haverfordwest clubhouse this morning. He has nominated this year’s final as his benefit game and he will be coming round at the tea interval with a collection bucket so please give generously to a worthy cause. Watch out for his total commitment to the Haverfordwest warm up prior to today’s match.

Age 18, Student/Playboy – ‘Gelly’s’ presence should add a few hundred to the gate as he is followed everywhere by his fanatical army of female admirers. His quiet charm and boyish good looks belie the fact that he is a ruthless gambler and property dealer who owns half of Haverfordwest. Will be keen to get on to the ground with his idol Phil Kirkby.

Theatre Nurse/Barfly – Jayne will make the trip from Briton Ferry for the 644^th time this weekend and during that time she has seen brother Andrew score over 1000 runs. Husband Dai is usually left behind as there is only room in her small car for one other, and their dog ‘Ben’ usually gets the nod. Even more pessimistic than Dai ‘we’re doomed’ Davie